Faking It

"The worst crime is faking it." ~ Kurt Cobain

While at work the other day when the weather was rainy and therefore we were extremely slow, one of our managers began to impersonate all the waitstaff as they behave at tables. He hilariously, and quite accurately, portrayed a number of people before he got to me. He looked at me for a second, then put on the cheesiest grin and started talking in a sickeningly sweet voice. He went with it for maybe 2 minutes, turned around, and contorted his face into an angry scrunch before storming off, and I laughed so hard I almost cried. He nailed it.

I pride myself on being ridiculously honest and truthful. I hate fakeness, two-facedness, and lying. I'll add hypocritical to that list, but in doing so, I am really just being even more hypocritical myself. How can I continue to denounce these characteristics when everyday at work I am the perfect embodiment of all that I hate?

Then I think about it again, and I suppose, there are circumstances where it may just be better to hold your tongue. For example, when my table of 10 takes turns each individually asking me which sides we have, and I go through the entire list 10 times, rather than asking them if they can read what is right in front of their faces. Or when a lady orders enchiladas, only to realize once they come out that what she really wanted was a quesadilla and I should have magically known that she doesn't know the differences of Tex-Mex food. Now had she asked, I could have gone on for about 5 minutes about the differences, but the thing is, SHE DIDN'T. Those are times when I wish I could just forget about "the customer is always right" policy and talk back to them, sass them the way they do me because they assume I am uneducated and incompetant.

Lucky for those people, I can grin and bear it...unlike some other servers. If you are unsure about what I am saying here, please take some time to watch Waiting, as it is scarily accurate.