My Proposal for a Better Society

"I don't love comedy but I can watch someone who's kind of interesting forever. I think a waitress who's having a bad day is a lot more fun than Robin Williams doing forty minutes of material." ~ Bruce McCulloch

I propose that a bill be passed that requires everyone to work in the service industry for at least 3 months.

Seriously, some people need reality checks. I am a waitress/bartender, but apparently to much of the population, that job title might as well say "general slave to society." There is nothing that drives me crazier than having a table where no matter how nice I am, how big of a fake smile I put on, how quickly I get them every drink refill/extra napkin/beer when the bartender is 8 tickets in the weeds...and I still get an attitude, and worst of all, a shitty tip. (I will side note here and say a shitty tip is less than 15%. For great service, 20% or above is customary. And we get taxed on at least 10%, so anything less than that is just fucking rude, and in that case, go find a Taco Bell, asshole.)

I know people have websites dedicated to the woes of those working in the restaurant industry, hell I even read the very accurate, if poorly written, Waiter's Rant. But after the day I have had, I need to reiterate that it is not your server's fault when the kitchen goes down. It is also not his or her fault when the kitchen messes up, or is out of something....say, chips. And yes, that is still true when it is a Mexican restaurant. (Most of us) are paying very good attention to you, and we notice when the food is taking awhile. If you look around and see that it is not just your table, it is likely we are also flipping out because none of our tables are eating. That is usually a clue that the kitchen has crashed. And in that case, we are as helpless as you.

It's understandable if you get upset that you cannot order your favorite item. But do not blame the server, especially if they try to be as accommodating as possible. So, if, god forbid, the restaurant run out of steak, or hamburgers, jalapenos, portabellos, sweet potatoes, corn, or even fries, try to at least be understanding. We were not the ones who placed the restaurant's orders for food that week.

I will probably write again about things to not do in a restaurant. But now, I just want people to try to be understanding. Most of us working in the restaurant business are working through school, or working it as a supplemental job to an additional 9-5 gig. We are people, too.

Also, the chips would have be free anyway. Not receiving them does not in anyway signify that the end of the world is upon us. Breathe.